forty-three

standing alone
on the edge of the water
in the middle of the dark
on top of the moss and
under the stars.
There's a cancerous stone
growing in my chest
displacing my organs
making my heart
stretch and tear.
tight, it unfolds
and everything is tight.
it eats and everything is empty.
it rises and forces my
eyebrows together.
tears to form.
breathing to pain me.
it's heavy and it's hard and
i can't drop it or break it
or even allow it to pass.
my eyes are screwed shut
and my mouth does its best
not to open.
something is coming to save
me. someone is on their way.

hand, outstretched.
open and waiting.

i can hear you running
but i've heard that before
and i always just end up alone,
hands cold, eyes red and crusty, stars still shining.

this is the conquest you're called to.